Friday, April 29, 2011

Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks.

1998, now for some reason this year felt the longest, I don't know why but the idea of 1998 it just seems that year went on forever.

At this point in my story I had entered second class, the new group in first class were placed back in with Ms. McGuiness and for a time it was only two classes in our classroom, second and third.

Now second class wasn't the most eventful year in the world. It was pretty much as normal as they come even. There was nobody coming into our class and nobody leaving. It wasn't till the next few years that would happen.

Back then were the glory years however. Lunch time was as fun as a cat in kittens. We played all sorts of games from catch to tip the can, every once in awhile we'd get a football out and play on this triangular piece of grass that you could barely run across without reaching the end of it. There was this big dark shelter behind the school we'd play little games in. There were also a lot of crazy stories floating around about that shelter. Apparently our Principle hated dogs and he'd just go around hunting down dogs to lock them up in there. Though sometimes on rainy days you actually would hear squealing coming from the locked door, scary stuff.

The birthday parties in second class got out of control. It seemed Patrick and Stephen were constantly trying to one up each other, one would invite us all to a fun factory and the other would bring us paint balling. Hell I wasn't complaining as it was mad amounts of fun but it kinda dampened my birthdays when it was all "lol you wanna go cinema?".

Now I'm pretty sure this was the year we started dabbling in long division, I can tell you now, I despise long division. It's just something I can't do. I mean even when I repeated in the Marist it was my one weakness. But yet again tale for another day. Now everyone around me seemed to get the hang of long division while it drove me insane. Where do I take the numbers from that was my problem, I'll never understand it.

Now my teacher in second class was Mrs. Duffy. I've been over this before but I did not like her. This one time in class we were discussing natural disasters. "Call out some natural disasters guys" she called from atop the classroom. "Hurricane", "tornado", "earthquake" all these words flung out at blistering paces. I however bided my time as I knew I could blow away all their silly little answers for you see back in the day I had this awesome encyclopedia. It had drawings of all this crazy stuff and I must have learnt it off by heart. One of the sections of this encyclopedia was natural disasters, so I had answers for this question that I knew nobody else would know.

As the answers began fading into murmurs of "avulunch" (sic). I chimed in loudly with a waterspout. I proudly sat back and watched my peers confused faces but alas my moment was cut short. "Stop being such an idiot Mark, you think that's funny, stand up immediately." My face dropped. Now I was gobsmacked. What the hell did I do wrong I wondered. Waterspouts were serious threats for boats and what not, they were like water bound tornadoes. Tornado was on the blackboard so why the hell was I made look like an idiot. Well apparently Mrs. Duffy being the master of the universe thought I was talking about some variation of a teapot. What a brilliant teacher.

But my second class tussles with Mrs. Duffy don't end there, oh no I could go on for hours. One time we were practising for a choir. Three of us were tired of it all and just wanted to quit. So we asked Mrs. Duffy if we could stop taking part in the choir. Now Mrs. Duffy was taken back by this request. She begged and pleaded with Patrick to return to the choir, she talked about how it will benefit him and how everyone will be ever so proud of his amazing voice. I can't remember who the other person was but I remember she spent a good few minutes convincing them to return as well.

Now she had these two people back in the choir she just stared down at me with her protruding jaw. I thought to myself, oh here we go, don't try and convince me too hard Mrs I might just cave in. Well I didn't have to worry about that. She just looked down at me and sighed. "You can just take a seat over there till we're done". Now I know I was the one to quit but what the hell! You're going to make me stand there and listen to you compliment everyone else and then you just look at me and sigh?! As Eric once said "I didn't wanna go to the dance, I just wanted to be asked".

I think those two events sum up how I got along with Mrs. Duffy. She was a bitch to me and an angel to most of the others. Though I remember there were others she didn't take to kindly to either.

Okay one last small story about her!

One time whilst playing basketball round the back of the school I fell on my knee. Blood streaming down my leg I rushed to find a teacher to get me a bandage. Well guess who was on duty, yep herself. As I walked up to her she had the biggest shit eating grin on her face I'd ever seen. "What's the problem Mark?" she splurted out as she attempted to contain her laughter. Like c'mon why laugh at a kid pumping blood unless you have some sort of sadistic problems.

I tire of talking of her so let's move onto fun times. BADMINTON! Now my last meeting with these people was one of Patrick's mother (the leader of the badminton club) telling me she no babysit, badminton r srs bsns.

When I entered in second class though things were a lot better. That sport was the sport of kings I tell ya! Each day we'd do these silly little routines to help our power and accuracy. As strange as it was it eventually paid off as we could soon land shuttles into a bucket from the other end of the court.

Good times, though I never did get along with Barney one of the owners. He was constantly barking orders and shouting out "Don't do this and you won't be back next week!". He was just annoying. Anybody went into the toilet he'd be in three minutes later "What are you doing, why are you taking so long, you think this is a game". He was mainly just there to run everyones good time. Though in his defense we kinda brought it on ourselves. I remember one time one of the people in the club stood up on a toilet (god knows why) and shattered the toilet into pieces. Funny for me, not for Barney.

While the badminton club was fun it wasn't without its problems. For one thing the club had the biggest load of nepotism I had ever seen. The club was owned by three of my classmates parents. Now there were always only four places on the team. Guess who got three of them?! Yep, every single time the children of those three got the team, not only that but the neighbour of one of the three got the final place, every single time. Now what are the odds of that happening?!

Seeing as I lived in the middle of nowhere, socializing outside of school was always a pain. For me whenever summer hit it was adventure time. I got a bike this year and by howdy did I make use of it. I'd go adventuring around the local area. They were fun times. I remember there was this one place were daisy like flowers grew to be bigger than me, it was awesome, felt like a world were everything grew to be massive!

I climbed Croagh Patrick this year. That was scary as shit. The start of it is grand, you got this little stream accompanying you up the route but eventually it starts getting cliffy. There's parts of the main path were you only have room for one foot as you move across, always got paranoid I'd fall down those. The worst bit was when you got to the end though. Now I don't know why but the final third of the mountain is completely rocky. Every single step you take is on stones which are constantly moving, constantly going from under your feet. The worst part is that there are always old people taking up the parts where you can cling onto stuff so you literally have to get down on all fours and crawl your way up the boulders and stones. Worst part is if you slip and fall, bam, you're falling a long way down. All of this is not fun for a seven or eight year old believe me.

Well that's about it for today's edition. Not much else to talk about. I got a N64 that year which combined with my exploring covers most of my summer. They were a simple time.

Okay, yeah, so tune in next time when it's onto third class, it's not the most interesting class, so I'll probably use it talk about life at Darver in general. But there were a few awesome things like Pokémon and part time teachers.

Ciao.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere.

Okay on to the next chapter of my life 1997 and first class!

Usually up to this point Ms. McGuiness would handle first class along with the senior and junior infants (small school), but for some reason this year Mrs. Duffy took on first class instead, I assume it was a numbers thing.

I can tell you right now I did not like Mrs. Duffy. She just had it in for me the whole time, I have no bloody clue why either, it was like I was being used to keep everyone else in line. Wait till I tell the second and third year stories about her man!

Anyway first class at the time was when you did confession and communion, I think it's been bumped up to second class these days due to kids being to immature for god or something. I dreaded the time coming up to first confessions. The amount of stuff I thought you had to learn and recite to the priest was insane and I thought if you messed up just a little you got the unholies. It's also crazy how much you have to rehearse to take part in it, it all had to run perfect.

I can still kinda remember what I said that day to the priest. It was like "Err hello father, forgive me for I have sinned, I like fought with my brother and gave out to my mam." It was a load of crap, I just wanted to get away from the priest as quickly as possible, I never liked being around priests, too judgemental.

Well first confessions came and went. I had no idea why we did confessions or anything like that, we focused more on making the ceremony look good than why we did it. Anyway life at seven was pretty sweet. I remember I had a rocking maetabolism, I mean I could eat for hours on end and not gain a pound, it was the life, sadly nowadays I gotta exercise and watch what I eat. Getting old sucks.

I was also uber tall. I was like a head above everyone else, it seems crazy now how tall I was, the teachers constantly referenced it which made me feel awesome. Then Barry started catching up though and eventually became taller than me, he always got their references :(

Next up was first communion. I hated it. I remember dreading putting it in my mouth. I remember the fear of choking on it. I remember the terrible taste. As ashamed of my self as I am I remember crying the first time I held one in my mouth. Why do I always remember the bad stuff :\

Yes I am aware how that last paragraph could be taken out of context you sick, sick people.

First class was pretty fun for nature studies. We'd have these wee books with rabbits and junk in them and we'd learn all about the environment. I loved every minute of it. Then we would go on these fun nature walks all around the surrounding areas of the school. Usually we would walk up to Darver Castle. Back then the Castle wasn't used as a hotel, it was just a fancy hotel in the middle of nowhere. The lane going up to it was always one of my favourite things. Trees arched over the path blocking out the sky, it felt like I was in a massive forest.

At the centre of the lane was this old creepy graveyard. The headstones were beaten and covered in ivy. The bottom end of the graveyard seemed like it would open out and grab you kicking and screaming into it. We never dared venture down there lest some weird beasts get us. The graveyard these days isn't enterable it has been consumed by nettles to the point they just out onto the path. Back then however it was a magical place.

I rmember once on the way back from the graveyard to the school we came across this old building. It was so covered by fauna that you couldn't make out any of the outside walls. It felt like we'd unearthed some past civilisation right there. I actually wonder do the castle owners even know about those buildings.

In all honesty not much happened in first class besides the religious activies, my hatred for Mrs. Duffy didn't pick up until second class.

This was the year I believe I was first introduced to Kenan and Kel. My god did I love that show. It was the reason I would get up early on a Saturday morning. I can't really remember many of the tv shows I watched before pokemon and them came along.

This was the year I joined the Joes gaelic football team. Barry was the one who brought it to our attention as he told us all of the marvels of playing footballs outside school. When I showed up there I was all like "LET'S PLAY BALL" but eventually I really stopped caring about playing ball and just wanted to talk with the dromiskin folk about stuff. They were okay people a lot of them didn't talk coz football iz srs bsns. This was where I met Niall McEvoy who would come along to play a pretty big role in my life later on in secondary school.

Football with the Joes was a mixed time. I was never good at football. I just didn't get the whole chasing balls and kicking em thing. Hell back when people were talking bout Manchester United and all that crap I just wanted to talk about the last episode of Kenan and Kel. Most people were just too obsessed with football to care otherwise though. I longed for the day I could talk to people who didn't talk about football. Like there were people there that were like that like Stephen O'Neill but I just never liked that guy y'know. Oddly I can't remember if I talked to Kevin much before 6th class, I wonder what he was off doing in those times. If you're out there in the interspace, make your own blog brah!

But that's about it for today, I didn't cover a lot of the stuff I wanted to but I'm all groggy today so imma just relax for the rest of the night. Ciao folks!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You know it's funny what a young man recollects?

So continues my life story.

Senior infants, now what do I remember about senior infants.For some weird reason one of the things that comes to mind with senior infants is an argument that I wasn't even involved in. I remember it was a sunny day and Ms. McGuiness had given us english work to do. Out of nowhere there was a loud argument raising from the corner of the room. Apparently Sinead and Larney were having a massive debate. Ms McGuiness was all like "Y U NO WORK", then Larney turns around and was all "COZ WE DISCUSSIN". What came next shattered my young fragile mind.

Ms. McGuiness asked Kevin what they were arguing about then Kevin was all like I shouldn't say but then he did. They were wondering if you said fuck (or was it feck) in a song then was it a bad thing. To my shock Ms. McGuiness didn't seem bothered a 5 year old had just cursed and instead was all like "It's fine I suppose". I remember from that moment on a lot of the class starting talking like sailors when the teachers wern't around, I mean there we were at 5 and 6 and we were cursing more than my uncle in the Greyhound Inn.

That guy I was talking about in the last post, Meehal, he left Darver school that year. I vividly remember him telling us that he was leaving, it was about a month or two after he fainted and hit his head off the corner of a desk. At the time I didn't really care, I mean I remember I talked to him a lot in school and all but I just couldn't care less if he left or not. I don't think I ever saw him again after that, hell I don't have a clue what he even looked like anymore. All I remember is that he had short blond hair, that's about it.

As I remember it when he left Aine arrived as if taking his spot in the class. I'm not sure when Niamh arrived or if she was there from the start, I think she arrived later on though. I don't think in the entirety of the time I was at primary that I spoke to her even once, seems crazy now since the class was so small, she was just insanely shy I suppose. It must have sucked for Sinead during the time before first class though, she must have been the only girl in the class I think.

This was the year people started inviting others to birthday parties. I remember I intentionally didn't invite two people to mine as I really didn't like them at the time, damn I was an asshole. My birthday party was not an interesting one I pretty much took everyone over ot my house and messed about for a few hours. There was like this random pile of sand we messed about it in for awhile, that's about all I remember. I would look through old photo albums but I find myself jealous of how tanned I used to be and therefore stay away from them, like srsly skin start getting darker, gah! D:

Back at this age I had terrible eczema on my hands. I mean it was the pits man. It didn't go away till like the start of secondary but at this point it was at its worst. Like my hands were split open in places and yeah it was creepy as hell. So yeah that really sucked at the time.

This was the first year I remember of the Patrick arc of best friend thing. The whole best friend thing I mentioned in a previous post spun out of control in this year. You had to have a best friend in this year or you were a schloser. I drifted away from Andrew from this point and became friends with Patrick. Looking back he was a social genius. He knew how to play people off one another at the age of five, back then of course it was impossible to see it. I remember he turned Barry against me at some point in senior infants and that hate towards me never went away till like 2nd year of secondary school. Then again maybe I did something bad back then I can't remember, who knows, maybe some day he'll write a blog of his own and we'll figure it out.

This was the last year I came first in the sports day I think. From this point on Andrew would edge out victories against me in the sprint. In my defense I wasn't a sporty fellow, this was pretty much the one time a year I ran, I guess I just got good sprinting abilities, he on the other hand played football erry'day. I always hated sports day cause my family made it out to be a massive thing for me. OH MARK'S GONNA WIN BIG THIS YEAR HAHAHA. There was always too much pressure, I just wanted to have fun :\

This year was my first run in with Badminton! I remember being taken to the Darver community centre with my brother and walking in. Sadly I got turned away at the door though. Seems you had to be in at least second class to play, they weren't a 'babysitters'. Adults can be cruel.

This was the last year I was ever in the same school as my brother. I never really saw him that much anyway. He went off to the Marist afterwards which I would eventually follow him to but that's a story for another day.

Throughout this year there was an obsession with the spice girls flying around the school and I even I, the king of cool, fell into their hypnotic beats. Alas the six year old me was not involved in much else of the 90's culture back then. My fun times came from exploring my neighbours fields and lanes. There used to be all this crazy terrain that looked like it was from another world, plants that seemed to be moving by their own accord. I had my trusty plastic sword with me however so any dangers I met were swiftly dealt with!

Well...that's about all I remember from 1996. I could go into family stuff and holidays and what not but that would just bore my already bored audience, so I guess I'll leave it here for today. I really didn't think I'd have enough to write about for senior infants but whaddya know I did. Tommorow will be first class then, religion, the joes and a new teacher, fun times await!

Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm not a smart man... but I know what love is.

Okay I've got a new idea, I'm going to attempt to sum up my life, year by year, this should give a good inside into the glory that is me. I'll go from 1995 to now so let's get started!

Okay I believe a good starting point is my entrance into primary school. I remember I was five at the time. Being born in October my parents felt I was too young to go to school at four. When I think now I always wonder just how different life would be if I started earlier.

I digress, I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I remember entering the class room and thinking it would be fun. I sat down at like the front of the class, as I remember it I was at the same table as Andrew, Susan and Meehal. I remember I didn't like Meehal at all for the silliest reason. He had the same first initial as me.

You see back in junior infants we always had to do this thing were we talked about the first letter of our name, she only chose one person per letter and he ALWAYS got picked. I knew the answers to all the questions she asked but he had no clue, I just wanted to bark the answers at him. I was a weird child.

I also remember one day I came into class and he was sitting in my seat. I was furious as he claimed "lolmyseat". I was about to bring down the anger when all of a sudden he told me Ms McGuiness had moved people around and lo and behold she had. I hated him even more from that moment on though as he made me feel silly.

Lunch time was a weird time back then. I don't remember hanging out with people in the class that much, I remember I hung out with John and one other person, not sure if it was Larney or Cian. We ate crisps off the dirty ground that year, random fact right there, don't know why I remember it so clearly.

Another one of my main memories from that year is subtraction. I remember how difficult we all found it and I mean the entire class found it impossible. When Ms McGuiness left the room we all struggled desperately to get explanations out of one another but it was impossible. Eventually the teacher found us out and explained it to us over and over till it finally clicked.

This was my first meeting with the Irish language. I remember hating it from the moment I opened the book. I even remember the picture it was a girl walking to school with an Irish sentence underneath describing it. I remember thinking to myself this is so pointless I can already describe what she is doing why do I need to use different words to do it. It really sucked at the time and it didn't get better as we spent an hour or two everyday doing Irish.

Towards the end of Junior Infants everyone was obsessed with best friends. I think mine was Andrew. That constant best friends thing would continue for years and years. That's really about everything I remember from junior infants though.

Shit wait I remember something else. Okay so we had toy time everyday at two. We picked toys in turn. Table by table everyone got a toy. Now this was fucked up, THEY ALWAYS STARTED WITH THE SAME TABLE AND ENDED WITH THE SAME TABLE. Needless to say as my table was at the front of the class and furthest away from the toys I always got to pick last. I never once got to play with the goddamn toy cars, always pissed me off.

1995 that was the year I first saw The Lion King. I got the VHS for Christmas along with some power rangers one, the queen of ooze or something. This is the first Christmas I remember. The only thing I remember from it though is actually watching The Lion King. It was such an amazing film, everything about it was incredible it felt like I was on an adventure with Simba. The race through the jungle to the water spot was crazy. Ahh I need to re watch that film tonight :3

One of my big memories from this year was playing my brother's NES. I remember the entire family crowding around the screen being amazed that my brother was controlling the main character of a film.I couldn't jump over the first goomba in mario though and got pissed off and threw it there. Damn A button was hard to press man :(

That's really all I remember from 1995. I wonder when I get older will I even remember it, I remember Mr. Jennings saying once that eventually memories fade and your memories turn to memories themselves. As in you can only remember that you once remembered something.

Anyway tune in next time when I'll probably skip on to first class as I remember very little about senior infants!